Yesterday I led a consciousness-sharing session on the theme of "a compassionate heart" with Éric Le Reste. This morning, one of the participants wrote to me:
I'm having a really hard time integrating the concept of compassion "like water flowing on a sheet of paper". Even if I understand the importance of detachment and preserving love, there is sometimes, even often, the obligation to get involved. This is what I see in the parable of the Good Samaritan and many others. It's also the altruism that Buddha talks about. Otherwise, I see it as indifference and "non-assistance to a person in danger"!
The message we shared yesterday is to look at the other person as a soul, a spiritual being following its own path on earth. This soul does not need saving. And who am I to decide that the other person is in danger and needs my help if they don't ask for it?
It's true that this attitude may seem to lack altruism, that "disposition to take an interest in others, to show generosity and unselfishness". It might even appear to be a form of selfish cowardice. However, it is precisely an act of love to recognise others in their light rather than in their shadows.
Acting on this recognition is another step in compassion. It is important to understand where this need to "assist the one in danger" comes from. If it stems from a feeling of superiority or from a personal wound (for example, many therapists treat their own suffering in the belief that they are treating others, and in so doing do dramatic work), then it is no longer compassion, but ego...
If, on the other hand, this need emanates from universal values (those taught in all the holy books and by the pure sages) and serves the common good, then compassion becomes firm or uncompromising compassion.
It's about practising the subtle art of being kind and demanding. This includes speaking out when it may be unpleasant, setting binding limits and making uncomfortable choices for the good of all.
We can illustrate these definitions with the example of a city child who is beaten, mistreated and abused by his parents and those around him.
Compassion consists of looking at this child soul by soul, sincerely admiring him for having chosen such a difficult path, convinced that he has all the resources within him to grow from these trials and become an incarnation of pure love.
Firm compassion consists of observing the abusive entourage and offering a safe and benevolent space so that it can evolve serenely. It's about doing the best I can according to my means and skills, WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN, because I'm doing it to respect MY values and MY raison d'être, NOT TO SAVE OTHERS!
What do you think? I look forward to hearing from you.