How do you get there?

My children are home for the holidays. It's a rare opportunity to have their full attention and I want to share life lessons with them. Lessons that I've learnt through suffering and failure, so that they don't have to go through the same ordeals. 

Yet they don't feel the need to listen to me: "We learn from experience, from your radiance, no need for theory. Be more in your heart and less in your head", my daughter tells me.

My blood ran immediately. "How can you reject me like that when you spend hours listening to your Chinese medicine teacher? I'm paid to share my knowledge too.!" replies my wounded ego.

"You're not my teacher. You're my father! And there I was, speechless...

I go off to meditate... 

Is it my need for recognition that's been activated? Is it the love of my identitied child that's driving me to make her believe that I know what's good for her? 

Of course it is! 

But the feeling of being rejected gives power to the tone of voice and the unpleasant emotions. Yet I only want her to be happy... and I'd like her to respect me rather than reject me!

Little by little, a simple truth emerges. Rejection and admiration are just two sides of the same coin, both rooted in a spirit of survival.  

Once relaxed and present, peace comes to me. What do I really know? Not much, or almost nothing. Knowing what's good for me has taken me decades, so how can I imagine what's good for her!

My breathing calms down. My eyes brighten, my heart opens... and here comes my daughter to sit next to me, whispering: "Sorry I was a bit hard on you".

I honor universal wisdom... It manifests love, freedom, respect, forgiveness, gratitude and serenity every time I enter that space that Rumi called the 'garden', the one that lies between good and evil, the one that lies within each of us, far from the reassuring duality of my bruised ego.